Why Having Children Outside of Marriage Isn't A Good Idea

I have three daughters. I had my first child at the age of 19, in which I would be 20 in that same year. She was born in May and I would be turn 20 that August. Having one child seemed to be okay, but you had the constant worry about who would watch her when you were at work. When I was 19, my ex-boyfriend went to jail for six months and I was left alone pregnant and raising a young baby by myself. It was terrible. I was very cynical when it came to babysitters. I even stop taking my daughter to one sitter because she smoked. I couldn't believe that she had smoked around the baby. The sitter before her was impatient with my daughter and always cried. She didn't seem happy to be in daughter's presence and vice-versa. I found another sitter for her to go to. None of the sitters I bumped into weren't the right ones. By the time I got tired of switching from sitter to sitter, I had my second daughter in June of that year and had to find someone to take both of my daughters. I didn't have a car at the time and she was even nice enough to drop me off at the bus stop so I could take the bus to work and she would take the kids to her house. She was nice but her nephew wanted to scratch one of my daughters. We had a discussion about it and it really wasn't an issue after that. Their father came home that November and I was happy that she didn't have to babysit for them anymore. I got pregnant again that same year and had my youngest daughter the following year, 2002. That same year I felt I was on my own, even though I had a live-in boyfriend (also known as baby daddy), but it wasn't the same and not God's way. For the past almost 12 years, I have been a single parent. Anyone who is thinking about having children out of wedlock, I would suggest put the brakes on that idea and wait until you get married. Wait until you have someone in your life who truly loves you and really wants to marry you and be with you. Don't be like me and spend six years with someone who was not a Christian and not wanting to follow God's principles. Being a single parent is extremely hard. I have to be a cook, the housekeeper, the baker, the nurse, the doctor, the chauffeur, the lawyer, the authoritative figure, work, the bill payer, etc. I am required to be the mother and father in their lives because their father knows nothing about truly being a parent. It is not the strength coming from me that is holding everything together. It is the strength of the Lord and the Holy Spirit leading me and guiding me. When I was riding on the bus, I used to see many young teenagers on the bus, taking their young babies to daycare before they went to school. Some people think that it is cute to see these type of things going on, but I don't. It is not cute and most likely the father of that baby isn't involved the way he should be, unless he is an exceptional teenage boy. More than likely the girl and boy will not be together in the future and will move on with other people in relationships.

In closing, I would like to say if you don't have kids right now and not married, that is good. That way you don't have to go through what I'm dealing with right now. This is a rough journey, but God is carrying me through and has always provided for us. God bless you and thanks for reading. :0)

*I am not judging. I am making a point it is best to wait until marriage.